


Beat, Incomplete

by amine



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Awkward Sex, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 01:11:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9099847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amine/pseuds/amine
Summary: "In a Hollywood movie, they would start kissing about there and America would lift England into his arms and England would wrap his legs around America’s waist, and they would kiss passionately as America carried England to his bedroom to toss him on the bed and make mind-blowing love to him. Since it wasn’t a movie, he followed England up the stairs in tense silence, and even as they stepped into America’s room the tension remained."





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was born of the desire for America and England to not be virgins, but to have extremely awkward sex after a long period of celibacy. I regret nothing. :')

It was always like that—England pushed him back, kissing him deeply and with the kind of skill that could only come from years of experience, while America tried his best to keep up. England moved to America’s neck, and America laughed. England was very good at what he did, so it always felt amazing.

But that was always as far as they went. Neither of them let their hands wander, always touching each other’s faces or wrapping each other in an embrace. America never slipped his hands under England’s shirt or in his pants, even though the opportunity was often there. They’d been “together” for several months, but they’d yet to have sex. The closest they’d gotten was dry humping one night early on in their relationship and they’d both pulled away from that at the last minute in a panic.

It had been a long time since America had had sex. There had been a few times back in the sixties, but America wasn’t sure if those actually counted since he’d been under the influence of mind altering substances each time. England, on the other hand, was probably full of recent experience. America was honestly in love with England and looking like an idiot because it had been a long time since he’d had sex wasn’t the way he wanted their first time together to go. England didn’t press for sex, but America had the feeling that England was holding back for his sake. Maybe he knew.

Really, America would have been happy to carry on the way they were already doing, with heavy kissing and no groping the furthest they’d venture, but their relationship wasn’t a secret and he knew that the others were expecting them to have sex—frequent sex, at that. Their sexual tension had driven everyone crazy for years, America had been told. Broom closets were left alone lest America and England want to enjoy a quickie between meetings. England was a wild pervert so America would fully understand why England was called the erotic ambassador. He’d heard those things many times, plus several other things that all basically boiled down to the fact that he and England should have been having regular sex by then.

America knew that it wasn’t fair to England to withhold sex, and more than that, America _wanted_ to have sex with England. He just didn’t want to screw it up.

England pulled away, and America smiled. “Hope you left marks.”

England lifted a hand to pinch America’s nose. “So you can brag about how you’re, ah...‘banging’ me? I think not.”

America’s smile waivered and he quickly pitched forward to kiss at England’s neck, hiding his face. England hummed in contentment, but America’s mind was in a panic. Hickeys were enough to get people like France and Prussia off his back for the time being, but they probably wouldn’t always be, and of course there was the matter that England wasn’t being properly satisfied. Maybe one day he’d grow tired of it and leave. America hated the thought.

America stopped kissing England’s neck and rested his face there instead. England stroked his hair, making America feel ridiculous at the same time that it felt really good.

“Hey, England?”

“Hmm?”

“Does it…” 

He paused for a moment. He could let it go and he and England would continue to have a perfectly sweet and chaste relationship—his hand was a very effective tool for easing frustration in that respect—and maybe England wouldn’t leave him out of his own sexual frustration. Or maybe he could bring it up and maybe he wouldn’t completely fail at having sex after celibate for so long and England wouldn’t leave him in disgust. Either way, his prospects seemed grim. He took a deep breath.

“Does it bother you that we haven’t had sex?”

England’s hand in his hair went still and England stiffened. “What—what makes you think that?!”

America pulled back. He’d been expecting England to be annoyed or maybe relieved that he finally brought up the subject of sex, but instead his face was bright red and he was fiddling with his shirt sleeve. America blinked, his mouth falling open as he tried to parse England’s reaction. He finally shut it again and shook his head.

“Nothing! I was just—well, most people have already had sex at this stage in their relationship, you know?”

“You’ve been talking with France, haven’t you?” England’s embarrassment seemed to have faded enough that he could give America a pointed look. He’d hit the nail right on the head, of course, but America refused to shrink away.

“No, of course—”

England held up a hand to silence America then he resumed fiddling with his shirt. “It’s been a long time, that’s all.”

America blinked. Perhaps he’d misheard or maybe he was reading too far into it, but there was really only one response to that. “…what?”

“It’s been a long time since I’ve…been intimate with anyone.” England looked away, his blush stretching to his ears.

“Ha ha, seriously?? Holy shit.” America slapped a hand over his face and laughed. England snapped around to glare at him.

“How dare you laugh?!”

“No! You don’t get it, England! This is…this is actually awesome!” America laughed louder, tears springing to his eyes as he clutched at his stomach. 

England folded his arms. He continued to glare daggers at America and his face deepened in color—likely a mix of anger and embarrassment. “I fail to see how you having a good laugh at my expense is ‘awesome’, America.”

“No, I mean, it’s awesome cause I’ve been scared all this time for nothing! You haven’t had sex in a long time, either!”

England’s eyes widened and his arms fell to his sides. “Either?”

America removed his glasses to wipe at his eyes then replaced them, grinning brightly at England. “Yeah, it’s been a really long time since I’ve had sex, too.”

England’s mouth fell open and for a moment he moved it soundlessly. Finally he stood up and threw his arms in the air and let out a string of curse words as he paced back and forth. “You mean I could have—This whole time I’ve been denying myself—Bloody fucking hell, I don’t believe this.”

America chuckled again and wrapped his arms around England, pulling him back onto the couch. He snuggled his face against England’s neck, ignoring the grumbling protests he received in response.

“So…you were holding back because you didn’t want to look bad, too?”

England stopped squirming and rested his head against America’s with a huff. “I didn’t want to give you any reasons to gloat.”

“Me? Gloat? Never,” America said and he knew without having to look what kind of face England was making in response to that. He chuckled, but then a feeling of unease fell over him again. “So now we _could_ have sex if we wanted to, eh?”

England stiffened and pulled away from America to fold his hands in his lap. “No.”

“What—no?? Why—”

“Not right now, I mean. Tomorrow,” England said, interrupting America before he could continue. He kept his attention on his hands, twiddling his thumbs. “We’ll…try it tomorrow.”

America frowned. “I guess we could, but… Most people don’t plan in advance to have to sex, you know? It just kind of…happens.”

England finally looked at him and while his cheeks were slightly flushed, he looked deadly serious. “Yes, well… We lack a proper lubricant, for one thing, and I need to…mentally prepare myself for this.”

America was about to protest, but England had a point. It wasn’t simply a matter of rolling around in the sheets just because they realized there had been a mutual misunderstanding. The more America thought about it, the more he realized that he still had plenty of reasons to be nervous about what could be his poor performance. A bit of time to mentally prepare would be good for him, too.

“All right,” America said, nodding. “We’ll do it tomorrow then.”

England nodded his agreement then quickly stood and left the room. America nearly followed, but remained seated instead and ran a hand through his hair as he sighed. He had a feeling that things were definitely not going to go the way he wanted.

* * *

America drummed his fingers on the armrest of his favorite chair, the video game he’d been playing long forgotten. England had said he’d be right back, but that was a long time ago. America wondered if maybe England had forgotten their agreement to have sex that night. If that was the case, he was both relieved and disappointed. They hadn’t slept together the night before as they usually did even if there was no sex involved—they’d awkwardly bid each other good night instead. Instead of cuddling together, England had taken one of America’s guest bedrooms. The fact that they hadn’t slept together had only added to America’s unease about the situation rather than take away from it. He was still afraid of being terrible in bed.

America heard his front door open and he snapped to attention. After a moment, England appeared in the doorway to his living room and the pharmacy bag in his hand made it clear to America that the agreement had not been forgotten at all.

“Hey,” America said, his voice breaking a little.

England nodded at him, remaining in the doorway. “The young lady at the pharmacy found me rather fascinating. She kept wanting to chat and wouldn’t let me leave. Seemed a bit jealous when she finally noticed my purchases, though.”

America swallowed hard, but managed a weak smile. “Not every day you meet a real English gentleman, after all.”

“Hmm.” England didn’t say anymore, and a painfully awkward silence fell over them. America tried to hold England’s gaze, but he kept looking away, and England didn’t move from the doorway.

“So…”

“Shall we then?” England’s voice sounded hoarse, but rather than comfort America with the thought that England was still just as nervous, it just made him feel more uneasy.

Regardless, he immediately stood up, his game controller clattering to the floor to be forgotten, and followed England to the staircase. In a Hollywood movie, they would start kissing about there and America would lift England into his arms and England would wrap his legs around America’s waist, and they would kiss passionately as America carried England to his bedroom to toss him on the bed and make mind-blowing love to him. Since it wasn’t a movie, he followed England up the stairs in tense silence, and even as they stepped into America’s room the tension remained.

America sat on his bed, and England set the bag on the nightstand before he removed his coat and sat on the bed as well. They stared at each other for a moment, and America was about to reach out to unbutton England’s shirt, but then England began to do that himself. America watched in surprise as England unbuttoned and removed his own shirt, but then he realized that gaping like an idiot would get them nowhere and he pulled off his t-shirt. He kicked off his shoes and socks and shimmied out of his jeans as England carefully removed his pants. His boxers he removed after closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He was completely naked, and when he opened his eyes he found England completely naked, too.

To America’s dismay, England’s cock was completely flaccid and there was no trace of lust or desire in his uneasy expression. He almost wondered if England felt pressured to do something he didn’t actually want. The thought made America feel sick.

“So…guess we have sex now,” America said, more as a confirmation that England still wanted to go through with it than actually stating the obvious.

“That is the general idea, yes.” England still sounded nervous, but he nodded and shifted a little closer.

America swallowed and also shifted closer to England. He lifted a hand to touch England’s body, but immediately let it fall again, covering his also limp cock. It was going to be very hard to have sex when he couldn’t get an erection because he was too nervous to get aroused.

Instead of thinking about how much he was failing to proceed forward, he tried to focus on England’s body. He’d seen England without his shirt before, but never completely naked. England was slim and pale, but he had the stature and air of a man who had seen and experienced a great deal in his lifetime. He was very attractive—very _sexy_ —and America wanted him. It was frustrating that he couldn’t properly act on that desire.

“This isn’t going very well, is it?” 

England’s voice broke America’s thoughts, and he blinked. England had a small, lopsided smile on his face, and America had to chuckle, letting himself smile in his own small, nervous way.

“No, it really isn’t. Guess I’m more nervous than I thought I’d be.” He shrugged and scratched at his head.

“And I, as well.” England fisted his hands in the sheets. America stared at him.

“I really do wanna have sex with you.”

“I do, too.”

Silence fell over them again. America leaned back and stared up at the ceiling, letting out a huff.

“I dunno, I think it’s cause it’s you and I don’t want to screw up. Mostly since I know you’ll never let me hear the end of it if I _do_ screw up.”

“I wouldn’t—”

America sat up straight again, lifting a hand to stop England from speaking.

“I know you wouldn’t like, I don’t know, ditch me completely or anything, but I wouldn’t put it past you to criticize my sexual performance like you do everything else. And you—you…made me feel shiny and new like a virgin, touched for the very first time!” America gesticulated for emphasis, singing the last part as best he could.

England blinked at him then snorted and chortled for a moment. “You…what? What are you doing?”

America grinned and shrugged. “Hey, I made you laugh, didn’t I? It’s getting way too tense and we’re supposed to be having sex, not talking about global warming.”

“Yes, well—”

“Hey! That’s good. I’ll warm _your_ globes.” America waggled his eyebrows at England, earning an eye roll in response.

“Oh, come here.”

America eagerly met England’s embrace halfway, matching England’s hungry kisses with ones of his own. It was a much more familiar thing to do and, with the tension eased, much more enjoyable. This time, however, he let his hands wander across England’s bare body, enjoying what he’d been denying himself until that moment. He finally let his hands settle on England’s ass, squeezing it in appreciation. England groaned and pulled away, allowing America to see the plain as day lust in England’s eyes. It was actually a relief to see.

For that reason, America didn’t protest as England pushed him down onto the bed and crawled over him. At first England pressed soft, close-mouthed kisses to America’s chest, but soon they were not so gentle with teeth and tongue joining in. 

“Oh _god_ , America,” England said and suddenly he was ravenous, and America swore under his breath as England practically devoured his upper body. He watched, not wanting to interrupt something that felt so damn wonderful, and rubbed one of England’s arms. He was finally getting hard.

England shifted up, allowing America to see that England’s cock was also finally erect, and he smiled.

“That’s more like it,” America said, grinning.

England shook his head, a more mischievous smile growing on his face. “I’m not quite done yet.”

America didn’t get a chance to respond before England grabbed both of their cocks and began to stroke them together. America groaned and arched up against England’s touch.

“ _Fuck_.” 

England laughed breathlessly, but moaned as well. America rocked his hips into England’s hand, wanting more and more of that blessed friction after so long without. But just as he felt his peak coming, England pulled away, leaving America to swear and give him a dirty look.

“Don’t make that face, America. Sit up.”

America continued to glare but complied, sitting up. He was immediately pulled back down as England reversed their positions so that he lay on the bed with America above him. He reached over to the nightstand and grabbed the bottle of lubricant, which he pressed into America’s hand.

“Go on,” England said, his expression turning a little uneasy again.

America closed his hand around the bottle then he leaned down to kiss England deeply. England’s fingers tangled in his hair as they did nothing but kiss for a few moments, but America finally broke away to press kisses down the length of England’s body until just above his cock. He pulled back, and England gave him an anxious but expectant look.

“All righty then,” America said, and he tried to determine how best to go about positioning England. He grabbed England’s feet, moving his legs around.

“America—”

America tried to adjust England’s legs with little success. He started to push them back when England’s eyes went wide and his hand snapped out to grab America’s wrist.

“ _America, I do not bend that way_.”

“Shit, sorry!”

England sat up, and America was about to take the spot England had just vacated, but England grabbed his hand. 

“Stay where you are, we’ll do this a different way.”

England climbed on top of him, sitting in his lap and grabbing the lube bottle. He rocked forward, brushing their cocks together again, as though trying to bring back the desire and dispel the unease. America groaned, pulling England close for a kiss as they ground their hips together in a slow, but amazing pattern.

England pulled away, popping open the bottle to pour a generous amount of lubricant into his hand. He let the bottle fall to the side and turned his fingers on himself. America watched wide-eyed, but he knew that it was probably better for England to stretch himself—less chance of him getting hurt that way. So instead America leaned forward to lick at England’s throat and let his hands drift over England’s body. England hummed and moaned intermittently with his hisses of discomfort. America stopped when England pushed him back and poured more of the lube into his hand, using it to slick up America’s cock instead.

America put his hands on England’s hips as England grabbed his cock to line it up, but then paused. America frowned, staring up at England’s face in concern.

“What’s wrong? Wait—shit, I’m not what you were expecting, am I? You wanted someone who is—”

“America, shut up. You are marvelous, it’s just… It’s been a _very_ long time since it’s been like… _this_.”

England gestured to their position and America blinked, comprehension dawning on him.

“…oh. Well, uh…do you…wanna switch? Cause I can—”

“No! I mean...” England rapidly shook his head, bending forward to kiss America on the nose. “…I want it this way.”

As though trying to prove that he meant what he said, England grabbed America’s cock again and lined it up before lowering himself—slowly. England’s eyes widened and he lifted his head to stare up at the ceiling, taking slow, deep breaths as he took in more and more of America’s cock. America gritted his teeth, keeping a hold on England’s hips and holding still for England’s benefit. When England was fully seated, he leaned forward, wrapping his arms around America and pressing his face to America’s neck.

They stayed still like that for a moment then England began to move. America listened to England’s ragged breathing against his ear as England lifted his hips and thrust them down again—each movement slow and deliberate.

“England—”

“ _Go to hell_.”

America had to laugh at the harsh tone of England’s voice, but England bit down on his neck, silencing his laughter and making him swear instead. He fell quiet, holding England close and letting him move the way he wanted. When he was adjusted, America was sure he’d know. England continued to move slowly, his shuddering breaths making America internally grimace. He didn’t want it to be painful.

Finally, England let out a soft moan and rutted his hips down onto America’s cock at a quicker pace, leading America to believe that something was finally starting to feel good. America licked his lips, nearly trembling with the effort to not thrust into England and get _more_ friction. England had snapped at him before, but he’d also been in pain. Now that it was starting to feel better, maybe England wouldn’t mind him speaking up. Even so, he kept quiet until England was the one to break the silence.

“America.” It was almost like a plea, and America shifted his hold on England.

“England, can I..?”

England nodded against his neck. “Yes. Do it.”

America nodded and grasped England’s hips, making sure he had a firm hold before he thrust up. England gasped and America hissed as England’s nails scratched at his back, breaking the skin and likely drawing blood. He’d find out for sure later.

Normally that was the point when they should have found a natural rhythm that they easily fell into while they drove each other wild and filled the air with their passion-filled voices. Instead they were mismatched and America’s cock kept slipping out, leaving him to thrust at the air, and their grunts sounded more ridiculous than anything. But eventually they found some semblance of a rhythm that made both of them groan, and America’s mind started to go hazy, especially when England started mouthing at his neck.

The fact that he came almost right away was horrifying.

But he shook off the urge to collapse so he could at least satisfy England with his hand since he’d failed to do so with his cock. He wrapped an arm around England, preventing him from pulling away when he tried, and used his free hand to finish the job.

America’s fingers barely wrapped around England’s cock before England shuddered and came in his hand.

America blinked but let England ride out his orgasm, lowering them both onto the bed when England slumped against him. They both rolled onto their backs to catch their breath and America grabbed a bunch of tissues, tossing a wad to England so they could clean themselves up. Finally, America sighed and shook his head.

“That…really sucked.”

England let out a bark of a laugh. “Absolute rubbish.”

America rolled onto his side, propping himself up with a hand so he could smile at England. 

“But hey, we got the awkward virgin shit out of the way and we’ve got plenty of time to get it right! Right?”

England huffed, but his expression softened and he also rolled onto his side. “Yes, I suppose we do. Practice makes perfect and all that.”

America grinned, but although he’d been planning to take the opportunity to snuggle against England, England sat up instead, reaching over onto the nightstand to retrieve something else from the pharmacy bag—a carton of cigarettes and a disposable lighter. He pulled one of the cigarettes out and lit it up, making America’s eyes nearly bug out of his skull.

“I didn’t know you still smoked?!”

England inhaled deeply, pausing a moment before he exhaled. He turned to grin down at America. “I don’t. Only after a satisfying shag.”

America snorted then rolled onto his back laughing. England also chuckled, but America knew that it wasn’t a lie.


End file.
